Even's Gift
by FreezePride
Summary: College AU Characters: Even (Vexen), Lumaria (Marluxia) Really, he had thought he was doing Marluxia a favor. It just goes to show you, you should never go shopping for a diva. [411, MarVex]


This was absolutely _heinous_.

Lumaria held the hat gingerly, as though it may attack at any moment, and frankly, he still wasn't quite sold on the fact that it wouldn't simply grow claws and an annoying little screechy voice to try to tear his beautiful face to shreds. The hat itself seemed to stare back at him, absolutely full of contention and animosity in an exceedingly strange and awkwardly crafted sort of way. Deep maroon and crimson red should not be twisted around in such ways, and the addition of highlighter pink silk did not seem to correct this fact, but rather, instead, it seemed to emphasize how very wrong the pairing was. A mixture of plaid and houndstooth never served to draw the eye to the correct places on the garment. Those stripes should not be interrupted with the introduction of a secondary pattern to draw the eye away from the face. Oh sweet Ru Paul, he couldn't even bring himself to comment on the poofy line of feathers along the rim, leading to the roses lining the frilled hindquarters.

This hat was never meant to exist. This was a horrible mistake. Some designers were simply never meant to play God.

"I studied you to achieve this outcome." The tentative voice of Even piped in, finally, those wide, bright eyes locked on to Lumaria with an undefinable expression which lingered somewhere between keen interest and bashful fear (how refreshingly unlike him!). Granted, his statement was rather soft, as though admitting to having studied something based on personal bias was some sort of crass sin like talking about politics at a dinner party or farting in church.

"Did you?" Lumaria tried to stifle a malicious grin.

"Of course!" Even seemed overjoyed at sharing his findings, or maybe he was simply overjoyed with the prospect of being admired for all his hard work. All Lumaria knew is that he would love to be enlightened as to why this insult to humanity was borne of anything having to do with the beautiful young man.

"I started with your general fashion choices, of course. I hypothesized on color and garment preferences. While you seem to fuss about most parts of your body excessively, as one with your level of excessive sexual hormones might, yet your hair seems to be a major point of contention, and thus a hat seemed to be the best plausible answer." Vexen listed off, his matter-of-facty tone absolutely undeniable. "Your attraction to the color pink is a no-brainer. Then came the challenge of figuring out exactly what you tend to wear most, stylistically. The entire list included everything from simple cotton to band tee shirts like that one from, what's her name, again? Lady Gay-Gay?"

"Gaga." Marluxia corrected fastidiously, with the protective nature of a die-hard fan, yet the accepting nature of one who knew that he might get some later from this man. He continued listening, inwardly cringing behind a mask of calm civility.

"Right." Even chuckled, hardly listening. "I decided on several patterns which I have seen you wear most and finally cutting them down to three singular ones which I felt related to one another in that they incorporated black." He smiled widely, almost excitedly. "Just like when you said to match black with black, rather than brown. You see? I do listen!" He snapped with a self-assured smile.

"And finally, the embellishments are a reference to your astoundingly useless interest in nature and artistry rather than something useful like science. I made sure that flowers would somehow make their way on to the garment, because thinking of you without that blasted plant matter is like trying to start an experiment without a control group. It just makes no sense whatsoever!" Lumaria nodded slowly all the while as Even seemed to become even additionally excited as the justification continued. With a wide gesture with his slender arm, he pointed out the flower tucked behind the pinkette's ear, peeking out from his soft locks of hair.

"I knew that I could not possibly make this garment, for my expertise does not lie in such fields, as we well know." Lumaria held back a snort of agreement, and nodded politely. "Such past times are a mystery to my brilliant mind, for why would I ever consider making garments when one could exchange pecuniary wealth for goods and services, and thus I found another designer on campus who was so inclined to create this masterpiece. One by the name if Selphie. Perhaps you know her?"

Lumaria knew exactly what she was thinking. Blackmail material. He'd remember this. Bitch.

"Anyway, she tried to talk me out of a few of my design decisions." Oh, perhaps she was not such a lost cause after all. Even faltered at this point, as though his mind might have tripped over it's own shoelaces and now had to play catch up with itself. "It...it simply did not seem right to take pieces out. Those pieces are part of your entirety. You are not entire or complete without them. It was as if I would be dismembering the test group." He explained a bit more slowly, his gaze straying away as though these preferences were something unprovoked and otherworldly, perhaps even beyond his understanding.

"I insisted it stayed completeand thus she made this. I made sure to pay her handsomely for her efforts, particularly because I completely disregarded her advice because the foolish girl knows nothing of you." His rather proud smile returned as he looked from the hat to it's owner, nearly-chemical green eyes shining expectantly as his lithe, slender hands folded themselves before him. The curious tilt of his head was almost comical, as though he had gotten his advice on how to be socially acceptable from too many episodes of Doctor Who.

Lumaria looked down at the hat (if one could even call it that), and all of the good intentions in the world seemed to stare back up at him through a guise of ridiculously bad design decisions and superfluous detail work. But it still held true that Even refused to be parted with even one aspect of his personality, no matter how foolish he might think it is. The pink he had always been made fun of as a child for, the love of design that had set him apart from the other boys in middle school, his inclination to gardening which had ensured that he would constantly be at the blunt end of every hurtful and crude 'queer' comment in history.

He loved them all. He insisted on keeping them intact, no matter how ugly of a hat it made.

"I know your too impressed for words, but really, I will accept your thanks now." Even's voice shook him from his thoughts once again, a hint of annoyance and a tinge of fear coloring his tone with about as much subtlety as the garment in question.

"This hat is an insult to humanity and by the name of all that is blessed by Betsy Johnson, I will not wear it in public." That should add some acid to this basic solution. The self-assured grin faltered to disbelief, to confusion, to upset to rage in 1.4 seconds, making this the fastest emotional volcano in history, Lumaria reflected. Who said he was no good at experimentation?

"What do you MEAN, this is an insu-" The eruption of sheer, unadulterated rage was capped as Lumaria lunged forward to claim a kiss. It was a chaste one, and yet there was intensity behind it, an equally confused and afraid understanding of love which longed for companionship, as well as the undeniable will to get Even to shut the fuck up.

"I _mean_ that you should never try to design a garment ever again." Lumaria continued once Even had settled into a shocked, silence which would be followed by fuming and brooding if he didn't act quickly. "But I'll wear it around the two of us. I'm sure that my good looks can make even this fashion travesty look hot." He said with an indulgent chuckle, placing the cap gently on his beautiful locks of hair, not wanting to be anywhere near a mirror for the first time in his life.

But, oddly enough, it was worth it to see Even's near tantrum melt into a contented sigh in a shadow of a second. Sometimes you just had to swallow your pride, because even a fashion mistake can be made with love.

...and then hidden under the bed for the rest of eternity.


End file.
